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PEOPLE · CHOICES · RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship Board

Balance in relationships. Wisdom in context.

11 / 13 · During the rebellionGood example
David restrains his men when Shimei insults him: self-control without revenge, 2 Samuel 16
Artistic illustration · 2 Samuel 16:5–13
2 Samuel 16:5–13 ↗NIV · English
Balance
BalanceAvoidanceAttack
Balance
BalancePassivityDomination
Balance
No dataSilence / liesHarshness
Balance
BalanceNeglectPossessiveness
Balance
BalanceInjusticeRevenge
Balance
No dataDenialOthers' guilt

Harmful extremes← Balance in context →Harmful extremes

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About the tool and biblical resources

Explore 13 episodes from David's life through six biblical counseling themes: conflict, authority, truth, care, justice and repentance.

A free reflection tool for family, friends and church, drawing on biblical counseling principles and themes in Paul David Tripp’s teaching. It is not his official test, a diagnosis or a measurement of spiritual maturity.

13 episodes from David's relationships

  1. Jonathan — faithful friendship1 Samuel 18–20

    Jonathan makes a covenant with David and helps him when Saul wants to harm him.

  2. Saul — David spares him in the cave1 Samuel 24

    David has an opportunity to kill Saul but chooses to spare him, despite being unjustly pursued.

  3. Nabal — the impulse for revenge1 Samuel 25:2–22

    After Nabal's insulting refusal, David arms his men and sets out with violent intentions.

  4. Abigail — David accepts correction1 Samuel 25:23–35

    Abigail intervenes wisely. David abandons revenge and acknowledges that he has been stopped from shedding blood.

  5. Saul — David spares him again1 Samuel 26

    David has another opportunity to kill Saul, but restrains himself and refuses personal revenge.

  6. Mephibosheth — kindness and honor2 Samuel 9

    David seeks Jonathan's son and offers him protection, land and a place at his table.

  7. Bathsheba and Uriah — grave abuse of power2 Samuel 11

    David brings Bathsheba, Uriah's wife, to the palace, has sexual relations with her, tries to conceal the pregnancy and arranges Uriah's death.

  8. Nathan — David acknowledges his guilt2 Samuel 12:1–13

    Nathan confronts David through a story. David acknowledges that he has sinned against the Lord.

  9. Tamar and Amnon — grave harm in the family2 Samuel 13:1–29

    Amnon rapes Tamar. David hears what happened and becomes angry.

  10. Absalom — closeness and rupture2 Samuel 14–15

    After Absalom returns, David initially refuses to see him; later they draw closer. Absalom subsequently rebels.

  11. Shimei — self-control under insult2 Samuel 16:5–13

    Shimei curses David and throws stones at him. David refuses Abishai's proposal to kill him.

  12. Absalom — grief and a return to responsibility2 Samuel 18:31–19:8

    David mourns his son's death. After Joab rebukes him concerning the men who defended his life, he goes to the gate and resumes his public role.

  13. Adonijah — the absence of correction1 Kings 1:5–6

    Adonijah seeks to proclaim himself king. The text notes that David had not rebuked his behavior.